- Tom Garfield, Superintendent of Logos School

There are virtually countless joys associated with this job. But one of my greatest heartaches has come from witnessing, from time to time, a teenager flounder in search of direction. This hapless young person is usually a young lady, but I’ve seen young men in similar quandaries. Frequently, from my experience, two major areas of decision-making are often laid on these young peoples’ shoulders by their well-meaning parents. No doubt from the best of intentions, parents seem to often leave the following decisions to their high school-aged children:

1. Whether or not to continue in and graduate from Logos.
2. Issues related to getting to know (and care about) the opposite sex.

Regarding the first issue, going the distance at Logos, we have learned the hard way that retaining a student here who doesn’t want to be here is a real drag for everyone concerned. So, as part of our application process for new secondary students, we ask the student to write a statement addressing why the student wants to come to Logos. These statements are often very revealing. If the student basically says, “I’m coming because my parents say I have to!”, this trips off our mental warning lights, and chances are pretty good that student will not be part of the entering class in the fall.

However, it is not among our newer secondary students that I usually see the anguished indecision mentioned above. It is more prevalent among the students we get to know the best, those that began with us in their kindergarten or first grade years. These students, for a number of reasons, often get to a point in their lives where they feel the “call of the wild”, and begin considering a transfer to the public schools. This restlessness, and it really manifests itself as such in the kids, typically hits at around the ninth grade year. Like the man who has seen the “greener grass” in his neighbor’s yard, these students no longer find satisfaction in their current conditions: Logos classes, teachers, even friends seem pretty lackluster compared to whatever lies beyond the rainbow.  Enticements to these “richer” fields can come from the students’ own ideas of what will bring them satisfaction, or can also come from church friends already in the government schools. The draw to be with “everybody else” can be a powerful impulse at this age.

There is little, if anything, we at the school can do to help these teens decide whether to exit or not. In most cases, we would dearly love to see them stay and finish the course here. Yet, while they are on the horns of this dilemma they are almost different people. Relationships can become strained, and even academic performance can fall off. It can get to the point where, even though no formal decision has been made on their part, we know that parting is just a matter of time.

On the other hand, I have seen another result in many of these instances. Parents have stepped in and given the teens the guidance that only loving parents can give. When that happens, the restlessness and indecisiveness vanishes overnight. Even when parents decide that the government schools are the place for the student, the student’s mental burden is lifted and there is almost a visible relief in there demeanor. Though I strongly disagree with such a decision, I still am pleased to see the parents’ fill at least the decision-making role they should, if not the educational responsibility. Thankfully, the opposite decision is made more frequently. That is, the student is gently, but firmly informed that the parents have decided to have their child graduate from Logos. Since those same parents have elicited loving trust from their children since the crib, the young person willingly and cheerfully complies. Here again, we see the student walk with a lighter step, somewhat as Christian did upon leaving his burden at the cross.

A very similar kind of change can be observed in older students when they first become “twitter-pated.” Only instead of a mental burden and restlessness, this sends their emotional state into orbit. In case you are unfamiliar with the above terminology, the state of being twitter-pated comes from the Disney movie, Bambi, and refers to the dizzy effects brought on by being “in love.” I put that in quotes because, according to Scripture, real love has little if anything to do with the crazy emotional state of being infatuated. But better men and women have written volumes upon that very issue. Suffice it to say, being “twitter-pated” is no more an indication of the beginning of a godly relationship than feeling really hungry is an indication that a life of eating only nourishing meals is inevitable. It might lead to that, but a more substantive commitment is necessary.

These students are also confronting decisions regarding the opposite sex for which they frequently have few answers. Here, again, they can go for months at school in a state of semi-awareness of their surroundings as they are tossed about by every wind of feeling. While they may consider this a light weight burden, it is a burden nevertheless, and one that may indeed weigh more than they think. Our students here are hardly immune from the dangers and disasters accompanying a “romantic” relationship that goes out of control.

Once again, but not as often as necessary, sometimes parents do step in and help their “twitter-pated” child by making decisions that curb potential problems, and enforce godly guidelines. Frankly, though, for many Christian parents, trying to step in at this point can be a dicey proposition. If biblical patterns of relationships have been part of the child’s training for years, then it is a relatively simple matter to gently enforce those. If biblical patterns are first discussed when the emotional tide is at its height…all bets are off.